I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
