tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
