It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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