how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
