just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
