I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
