from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
