Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
