he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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