I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
