the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
only you would photoshop your dick
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
