That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
