Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
