I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
