But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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