So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
