I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
