Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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