dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
