just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So squirting runs in the family.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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