Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
