i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
