those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
