he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
