my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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