Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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