i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
