On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
