She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Who put my cat in the fridge?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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