fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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