She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
