brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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