The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
