she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
