you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
