yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Is it penis luge time yet?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
