It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
