I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
