4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
