yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
