You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
