my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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