I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
