is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
