my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
