I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
