That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
