Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
