So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
