How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
