According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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